Sunday, July 11, 2004

My first entry, yeeeeeeaaarrrrrrhhh

Very often, I ponder about the opportunities that have been squandered. Notably, many might remember my frequent ruminations about Katie. If I had to describe someone who would have been an exquisite mate, she would have fit the profile. First, she was perhaps as politically liberal as I. Even though we disagreed on candidates- she favored McBride, I preferred Reno- our core principles were similar. I recall satirically lampooning those unseemly “Choose Life” license plates that have soiled the state of Florida. Both of us were crestfallen by the “defeat” of Vice President Gore in 2000. In the end, there was probably more potential there than I had originally thought. Even a rejection, which she likely would have delivered with tenderness, might have provided a valuable lesson. Nevertheless, this ship has sailed and I have moved on to more attainable goals. Last I heard, my sources informed me that she attached herself to another gentlemen from the Dwyer H.S. Class of 2002.

The latest girl to catch my fancy is a young lady named Jackie. I have had limited contact with her, the most extensive being a short game of billiards at the local watering hole. She seems, to the best of my knowledge, to be the type of person who I would get along with. Her friends tell me that she hasn’t had a significant romantic entanglement in eleven months; the reason, being, is that she doesn’t like to simply “hook up” with guys. It’s certainly not because of a lack of suitors. She is a very attractive and personable girl.

I have to decide whether to pursue these initial feelings of attraction. I would have to involve a third party, my stepbrother’s girlfriend, to attain some contact information. I am confident that she would say kind words about me and assure her that I am a decent guy. However, I am hesitant to bring someone else into this matter. I would hate for something to go awry and alienate multiple parties. My main contemplation involves how to broach this delicate subject. The most feasible option is to simply tell Loren how I feel. On a few occasions, Gary and myself have offered her a shoulder of support when she had difficulties. I anticipate that she would be receptive to my disclosure. I would say that I heard her ask Tim if he knew of any potential suitors. This actually happened, and initially I simply laughed it off. I would simply ask that if the topic were to be mentioned again, that I be included on a short list of available gentlemen.

I believe I need to pursue this, even if it doesn’t amount to much. Even a simple “not interested” would suffice. The key is to balance my emotions, avoiding coming off as too exuberant. Simply telling someone about this, and perhaps my prior interactions with Katie, would likely do me good. There are few people that I could probably feel comfortable revealing that much to. In the end, it comes down to how one feels about them. If an individual exhibits particularly low self-confidence, it is often hard to allow someone to see the positive in you. It can be a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts.

In this first entry, I tried to give a cursory explanation of things. In my upcoming posts, I hope to delve deeper into these matters.



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