Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Have I Found What I'm Looking For?

Last week, I wrote an entry about this girl I think I like. That entry wasn’t very clear on my thoughts and motivations. As is often the case, I strayed off point, thereby convoluting my message.

I should begin by painting a picture of what type of individual I am drawn to. I realize that my approach could be all wrong. Some would suggest that having certain criteria could unnecessarily limit your options. To some extent, that is true. It’s said that the best things in life happen when you’re busy making other plans. Still, I think I understand the type of person I would get along with. I would probably not be desirable to someone who spends five nights a week out partying. I’ve always felt that attractiveness is very subjective and truly in the eyes of the beholder. There are certain features that I find particularly alluring, such as glasses, but overall it is a hard thing to judge. Besides the physical, I have a clear idea on who I’m looking for. I want someone who’s smart, or possesses minimal intellectual curiosity. As much as I joke, I’d prefer an informed Republican to an obtuse Democrat. Secondly, I prefer someone who has a humble image of themselves. While girls who dress like harlots might be aesthetically appeasing, I’m drawn to someone more modest in their appearance. Finally, to me it’s very important how we treat people in this world. We have givers and takers in society. I’ve seen too many takers, therefore I could be biased.

With that preface already stated, I can expand on my previous comments. There won’t be much more to say about the individual, herself. At a modest pace, I’m trying to find out as much as possible about her. I know that she works in the field of politics, formerly went to UF, and is a fan of the Miami Dolphins. So far, that’s 3 for 3. Some of the more personal details still elude me. Does she have any other suitors or romantic engagements? My initial guess is that since she just moved to this town, that I have better than average chances.

I’ve had brief encounters with her last Thursday and this Tuesday. It was a fairly standard conversation. Talk turned to the Dolphins because I was wearing my aqua Zach Thomas jersey. Then we discussed the primary election that had taken place on Tuesday.

This is the point where I typically lose my way and am unable to reach beyond. I am set in my belief that this is someone I’d like to get to know better. I may be making a gross error in judgment, but I sense that she is a good person. I feel like I’m in sort of a gray area. I’d like to ask her to do something outside of the classroom arena, but I don’t want to come off as threatening. It really isn’t an all or nothing situation for me. Even if she were not interested in the way I desire, I’d still like to be her friend.

I have devised a tentative plan in my head. I’ve determined that she has at least a passing interest in football and the University of Florida Gators. I was thinking of mentioning that we’re having a gathering for the season opening Gators football game. The game is on PPV, but I know someone who has it for free at a restaurant. The setting would be safe and wouldn’t have to look like a “date”, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. The most threatening character would be Gary, but I’m sure he wouldn’t cause any mischief.

I feel like I have to make a greater effort, and a greater investment, to find rewarding relationships. It’s something that is very scary to people. Once you put yourself out there, the potential exists for disappointment. And looking at the statistics, the odds of a lasting relationship aren’t in your favor.

Maybe others have a different view of the situation. Calculation over spontaneity might not be the best approach. I’ll try my best to be as cordial as possible during tomorrow’s class, provided Hurricane Frances doesn’t cause cancellation. If not, I will begin to unveil my grandiose plan next Tuesday.



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