Jack and Me ***UPDATED 6:55 ET***

Jack Daniels, Tennessee Whiskey


After much adieu, I’d like to share my modest experience with Jack Daniels, Tennessee Whiskey. I didn’t get drunk or “wasted”, as the kids call it these days. I don’t think I consumed enough of the beverage in order to feel any of the side effects, such as pupil dilation, lightheadedness, and loss of inhibitions. If only I had the time and accessibilities, I might have.

Around 2:30 this afternoon, I entered an establishment that serves alcoholic products. Someone came up to me and offered me some of their Jack Daniels, Tennessee Whiskey mixed drink. At first, I abstained per my norm. All of the possible negative repercussions began running through my head. One absolutely true fact is that the legal limit for driving for teens is .02. That’s a quarter of the legal limit for adults, .08. In short, if you drink anything and fuck up behind the wheel, then you’re toast. Despite my proclivity to play it safe, I decided to take a sip. While the taste was rancid, I was allured to more of that sweet home Jack Daniels, Tennessee Whiskey. I proceeded to consume ~ ¾ of the alcohol in the glass. My best guess is somewhere between 1 and 3 shots were included in that drink. Maybe one of my alcohol aficionados can quantify the average amount of alcohol in a standard mixed drink.

Moments later, life seemed grand. When I entered the building, I was slightly crestfallen due to a recent revelation. I didn’t feel the urge to talk about my problems, or even write them on my blog. That sweet mistress, Jack Daniels, Tennessee Whiskey, kept calling me in. Perhaps it would have been more therapeutic to discuss my issues in a rational, calm matter. But with Jack Daniels, all of that is rendered moot. Upset over a tough exam, Jack Daniels is always there for you. Disappointed by the Dolphins poor performance, and there is a loyal friend waiting for you. Somewhat disturbed by poorly written satire on a secluded Internet site, and voila. Jack is right there to lend a helping hand.

It wasn’t the first time I had consumed a liquor drink, but it was the only time I felt comfortable. My first encounter with alcohol is one all both parties likely wish they would have handled differently. I’ve had some sips of drinks with Loren and Tim, but not without the fear of being caught red-handed. I’ve beaten this issue to death, so there’s no need to rehash old situations.

I do think one needs to learn his tolerance when it comes to consuming alcohol. That is why I am so hesitant to drink if I have to drive anywhere. It’s impossible to know how you will react to “x” amount of liquor. Being a large man, I could probably handle more. A lot of that depends on other variables, like amount of food eaten beforehand. There is nothing that I despise more than blatant intoxication. I don’t really have the desire to get drunk. A few drinks are fine, but rip-roaring toasted is not acceptable to me. I see people’s personalities change 180 after engaging in the sauce. Sometimes it manifests itself in rage, other times in depression. I can’t tolerate people who get so drunk that they cannot walk or talk adequately. That strikes me as having lost total control over one’s faculties.

There are always hardships that confront you in life. Maybe I shouldn’t be so sharp in criticizing those who take the helping hand offered by alcohol. Perhaps, one day I’ll even be one of those people. When I reach legal age, of course.

-Taylor