Monday, November 22, 2004

Jack is gone

It is with deep regret that I announce the passing of my bottle of Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey. Tonight, Tim, Loren, Larry, and I consumed the end of the bottle that was enjoyed last Friday night in the Heights.

Around 10:00, Larry and I drove up to the Quarterdeck to check up on his 40 something drunk roommate. All the guys in there were trying to hook up with her. Larry wanted to make sure nobody was giving her any shit. She was so drunk that she barely noticed our presence in the establishment. After only a few minutes, we departed the Quarterdeck. 10 minutes is enough of me and that place.

I express regret because Jack has been erroneously blamed in the dispute that ensued tonight at Larry's house. See, we were all chilling and things were going okay. I had about five shots of JD. Loren and Tim had two apiece. It was supposed to be a nice night of relaxing and drinking.

But things suddenly went bad. For a reason I have yet to comprehend, Loren started getting upset with Tim. She blamed the altercation on his drinking the Jack Daniel's. Naturally, I was enfuriated by her blaming of the JD. He must not be blamed in the way she did. I quietly explained that Tim, not Jack, was where her anger should be placed.

Sadly, I was unable to get drunk off the amount I drank. Now I have to go through the arduous process of attaining another bottle. Because of Thanksgiving, I only have from today through Wednesday to find a buyer. If Tim ends up sleeping at my house as might be the case, he'll owe me a favor.

Overall, tonight was rather a disappointment. I learned the hard way that six shots is simply not enough to get drunk. Next time, I'll have to consume a minimum of 10.

In another respect, tonight was a proud night. It's always a good thing when you get mildly buzzed on a school night. Hopefully I won't be feeling too bad tomorrow morning. I trust that Jack will treat me right, as he always has.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

The following rule WILL BE enforced on this blog as is required of all DUers.

Troops Support will be faked.

We know you are a terrorist sympathizer, but you WILL NOT post such on this board.

Failure to obey this rule will result in dire consequences.

We required the same at DU and enforcement of this rule is now in effect at DU.

You will see derSkinner has chosen to adopt this enforcement rather than face our wrath.

This will be your only warning.

November 22, 2004 at 2:00 PM  
Blogger Eric Cioffoletti said...

Yes Jack will treat you well. Shame on Tim's girlfriend for blaming the sauce.

On a more interesting note, it sounds like one of your DU buddies posted a joke message (hopefully) above my own.

November 22, 2004 at 2:01 PM  
Blogger tsias said...

Sadly, this is not a joke. The CUnts have decided to have a little fun with me.

November 22, 2004 at 2:07 PM  

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